Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Beanus interruptus

It oughta be an Olympic event; the 20-yard New York City store dash from auto to store to auto in 30 seconds or less. I tried it last night at Chipotle on West 48th between Broadway and 6th Avenue.

A frantic gesture by Mrs. Bananas outside the store alerted me to the presence of a car behind my car, and it wasn't Mr. Softee.

It didn't help that my car was a milk-white 2008 Volkswagen Jetta wagon with Michigan plates.

I charged out out out. Before I could get a word in edgeways, I got the grille.

"Is that your car?"

"No, ma'am, that's a test car. I am reviewing it."

"Well, you ain't got a press sticker in the front windshield."

"No, ma'am, I sure don't, but I'm pleading hunger in the 1st degree. I'll git, right now. To heck with the food."

"You're gettin' a ticket."

"If you have to. I sure would appreciate it if you'd let me go."

"You're gettin' a ticket."

"How about leaving off one of the numbers?"

"Now I'm writing 'Tried to bribe.'"

"How am I bribing you? I just asked you to leave off a number."

Silence. Since it appeared I was nabbed, I shrugged and started to dash back into the store to get my food.

"I already got it!" Mrs. B. said.

I waited. Wasn't I supposed to get some kind of orange envelope with a summons?

Walked back to the traffic agent's car, stuck the puss in the window.

"Hey, can I get out of here?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

Off I zipped.

You don't get sent to the Principal's office a billion times without learning something.


Apifera Farm said...

You're very funny Captain Bananas. Thanks for visiting Donkey Dreams. I lived for 5 years on the west side in my younger days. Sorry you can't have cats. we're down to 12, I htink, but that's farm life [they are all fixed I might add] I liked your post on marriage.

CaptainBananas said...

Ya know the Bananas family had a total of 19 cats while I was growing up, asthma and allergies be damned...thanks for reading!